Parenthood Initiation

There are a lot of things I just expected in parenthood.  Surprisingly, Scarlet hasn't really hazed us in a lot of ways that I assumed came hand in hand with the job.

Parenting Bullets Dodged Thus Far:

No colic
No spitting up (the kid was never a puker)
 No days and nights mixed up
No tantrums (knock on wood)
No ear piercing scream cry (soooooooo thankful for that!)
Not a picky eater
No teething issues, teeth just pop up without so much as a whimper

I'm super lucky right?  Don't worry, I'm totally aware of how good she's been to me.  She's really easy on us in most respects but she hasn't let us get away scott free.

Mama Merit Badges Earned:
Up ever hour to two hours (till she was nearly 6 months)

Blow out while someone else was holding her (at about 4 months, in a restaurant)
Never ending green snot machine (ew ew ew)
First ER trip (pneumonia)
And now as of today -  Pootastrophe

Today at nap time Scarlet went to sleep wearing a one piece play romper with snaps at the bottom.  She fell asleep for her typical 3 hours and when she woke up, she didn't sound distressed at all as she called for me over the baby monitor. "Mama?" called that sweet little voice.

Clean but cranky Beeble, friends headed for the wash
and a santized crib

I walked into her room and before I even had a chance to turn the lights on the smell of a baaaaaad diaper just about knocked me out.  I switched the lights on and saw my kid, still in her completely snapped up play romper, soaking wet and covered in poo.  Whaaaaaaat the frick happened?  Her umm, fully loaded diaper was off, smashed under her favorite blanket.  How did she do that?  I held her up trying to take it all in, totally confused. This was bad bad bad!  It was everywhere.  Her hands, her hair, between her toes.  I immediately stripped her out of the offending clothes, begged her not to touch her eyes or her mouth and dashed into the shower with her as fast as possible.  It took about 30 minutes just to get us both cleaned up and then another hour sanitizing her crib.  Ryan and I scrubbed the slats, her soother and the walls!  I now have her crib sheets, mattress cover and bumpers tumbling away in the dryer at nearly one in the morning.  I'm still totally boggled as to what happened.  How did she manage to get her cloth diaper off, under her romper, while still remaining totally dressed?  It just reinforces my defense to Ryan as to why I want a video baby monitor.  He thought it was unnecessary since our house is so small, until today.  

I actually Googled mama merit badges to see if someone really had created such a thing, and of course, they have!  

Which badges have you earned?