Quicky Pic - Piper Love

This is our neighbor kitty.
She visits us to get a Beeble snuggle in every few days and then she's on her way.  

Parenthood Initiation

There are a lot of things I just expected in parenthood.  Surprisingly, Scarlet hasn't really hazed us in a lot of ways that I assumed came hand in hand with the job.

Parenting Bullets Dodged Thus Far:

No colic
No spitting up (the kid was never a puker)
 No days and nights mixed up
No tantrums (knock on wood)
No ear piercing scream cry (soooooooo thankful for that!)
Not a picky eater
No teething issues, teeth just pop up without so much as a whimper

I'm super lucky right?  Don't worry, I'm totally aware of how good she's been to me.  She's really easy on us in most respects but she hasn't let us get away scott free.

Mama Merit Badges Earned:
Up ever hour to two hours (till she was nearly 6 months)

Blow out while someone else was holding her (at about 4 months, in a restaurant)
Never ending green snot machine (ew ew ew)
First ER trip (pneumonia)
And now as of today -  Pootastrophe

Today at nap time Scarlet went to sleep wearing a one piece play romper with snaps at the bottom.  She fell asleep for her typical 3 hours and when she woke up, she didn't sound distressed at all as she called for me over the baby monitor. "Mama?" called that sweet little voice.

Clean but cranky Beeble, friends headed for the wash
and a santized crib

I walked into her room and before I even had a chance to turn the lights on the smell of a baaaaaad diaper just about knocked me out.  I switched the lights on and saw my kid, still in her completely snapped up play romper, soaking wet and covered in poo.  Whaaaaaaat the frick happened?  Her umm, fully loaded diaper was off, smashed under her favorite blanket.  How did she do that?  I held her up trying to take it all in, totally confused. This was bad bad bad!  It was everywhere.  Her hands, her hair, between her toes.  I immediately stripped her out of the offending clothes, begged her not to touch her eyes or her mouth and dashed into the shower with her as fast as possible.  It took about 30 minutes just to get us both cleaned up and then another hour sanitizing her crib.  Ryan and I scrubbed the slats, her soother and the walls!  I now have her crib sheets, mattress cover and bumpers tumbling away in the dryer at nearly one in the morning.  I'm still totally boggled as to what happened.  How did she manage to get her cloth diaper off, under her romper, while still remaining totally dressed?  It just reinforces my defense to Ryan as to why I want a video baby monitor.  He thought it was unnecessary since our house is so small, until today.  

I actually Googled mama merit badges to see if someone really had created such a thing, and of course, they have!  

Which badges have you earned? 

Whooops! + Netflix Junk Food

I vlogged yesterday but forgot to post the link here!  So here ya go:  

I had all sorts of blog ideas that I could have done today but they were all a bit ambitious.  Today is a day for the opposite of that.  What I really feel like doing is snuggling up in bed and watching a crap ton of half-bad sitcoms on Netflix.  I know that Netflix offers some good programming too, like 30 Rock for instance - one of my all time favorite shows.  But sometimes ya just need good ole kitchy campy fun.  

Here are my top three go to shows, available in the US for streaming that qualify as good bad TV:

Psych

This show is Scrubs + Monk + the Mentalist + Pineapples (super fans, there's a pineapple hidden in every episode) - any sort of semblance of crime reality.  It's worth watching just for the one liners alone.

Drop Dead Diva

A bubbly, blond, wanna-be game show model dies and returns to this planet in a plus sized no muss no fuss lawyers body.  It's like Legally Blond meets Law and Order.

Quantum Leap

Yay 80's!  This show is about a time traveler who has to jump back in history to correct events that went wrong.  Like any good time traveler (cough *Dr Who* cough) he has an assistant and faulty, cheesy looking technology that helps him along during his adventures.

I have other streaming binges I go on as well like the documentaries, the amazing "I shouldn't be alive" or "I married a murdererder" reenactment shows (there's some crazy ones there!) and all my British goodness; Downton Abbey, Dr Who, Torchwood, Stephen Fry in a America, etc.  But I'm always on the hunt for more cheesy sitcoms.  They're like junk food, you don't indulge for the nutritional value, you shove as much of it in your face as your maw can handle.

What are your favorite things to stream on Netflix?

(Weekend Extra)

Exactly two weeks before she was two years old, my picklebean sprouted two piggies.  

Birthday treasures are starting to arrive! *19*

I ordered nearly everything for Scarlet's birthday online.  Anticipating their arrival, knowing that I'm going to get packages stuffed with wonderful bit by bit at my door step makes me giddy.
Once it's all gathered together I'll do a vlog on my grand plans.  Today's package was the one I've been the most excited about.  If you watched the recent "Beebs The Builder" video then you'll remember I said "Now all she needs is a friend" to fill her empty chair.
 Today, this little lady was on our doorstep and was a perfect fit.  

Now she's hidden away until party day.

Tracking her down at a reasonable price and ordering in time was a little tricky!   Even though Miss Shortcake has jumped up in popularity again, they don't currently make a soft plush version.  I checked Amazon and found a lot of discontinued plush dolls but most of them were between $50-$100 smackers.  That wasn't happening, but a quick pop over to Ebay and I found this sweet girl for only $24 with free shipping.  She's lovely, new with tags and very well made.  

Scarlet is going to love her berry berry much!

Her b-day outfit from Gymbo arrived last week as well.  The softest, smocked,  floral corduroy number I ever did see, complete with matching t-strap shooooes!  I must squee!

Last year I felt a pang of loss of my infant along with the joys of planning her first birthday.  I had a constant lump in my throat and butterflies in my heart as we inched toward that bittersweet day.  This time I'm nothing but delighted!  Thinking about how happy she'll be to have her friends around, a cake with a candle to blow out, happy birthday songs to sing in her own little shortcake world.  I could burst!

  

The Haggard Unicorn *18*

I've had bangs for a long time.  I rarely wear them down and when I do they're swept to the side.  I always think that maybe some day I'll style them and pull off the quirky, adorable, it-suits-me-even-though-it-shouldn't style ala Zooey Deschanel. So I keep them around.  Yesterday started out like - Ooh yea, I can pull this off.  I didn't hit the quirky cute mark like Zooey but still, not bad!  I had saucy bangs and felt mighty fine.

Then

The bathroom flooded and flooded and flooded.

Every pipe in the house started rumbling and then the water heater and every drain in the house bubbled and gurgled - not good.

My car wouldn't start (and probably wont ever again.  She  made horrible death rattle sounds and coughed blue smoke.)

My  mother had a really rough recovery day.

It began to rain outside but not a downpour, more like gentle constant spitting with a cold breeze. The perfect weather cocktail for some really bad hair.

So the day took a fast turn and my bangs were a great indicator of our mental state as a family;   frazzled, out of wack and plonked.  Yerp we plonked.

My "Hot Mama Saucy Fringe" quickly turned to "Old Hag Wearing a 14 Year Old's Haircut circa 1997."  Complete with cowlicks.

In the vlog my bangs had recovered a tad.  I did my best since I knew we'd be out in public getting plumbing supplies.  If you look closely in the video, you'll see I have a few new silvery friends that have joined the rest of my mop up top.  I saw them when I was editing the footage and actually, I don't mind them.  They're totally battle scars from the stress of this past year but I looked at them closely when I got home and ya know, they're kinda pretty!  They're like sparkly threads from a unicorn's mane.  

I spose I'll end it with that.  I'm a sparkly old unicorn who had a good hair day, turned bad, turned good again.  All's well that ends well, right?  

Vloggy Day - *17*

One month before Scarlet's 1st birthday she impressed me with her coordination and determination while stacking blocks.  The other night she helped Ryan and I build her new table and chairs and I was really impressed at how well she used the alan wrench twirly thing that universally builds all IKEA furniture .  It wasn't until I was looking for a title for the vlog that I realized that it was exactly one year since her block stacking video!  If you ask me, IKEA furniture is like the Everest of blocks!  Maybe I have a little engineer on my hands.

Pin-Poser! - *Day 16*

On one hand I could call this "Fine Motor, Imaginative, Independent Sensory Play" and look like I'm wearing my proper parenting hat today.  *Snooty nose up, hands clasped together*  We are our child's first educators you know. *curtsy*  We've seen all a similar pin on Pinterest right?  Look my kid's even wearing her special school-girl plaid dress that's way to uncomfy to really play in!
 That's totally Pinterestish! 

On the other hand I could call it "Random craft and baking supplies in tossed her general direction while I finished the dishes because I couldn't handle any more toddler attempts to climb me."  The girl pantsed me, twice for pants sake!   Trying to keep your britches up while wearing sudsy rubber gloves is a crap way to spend an afternoon.  Oh and the dress?  We just got back from church.  It was not pin-planned. ;)

So thank you Pinterest, sure sure, you inspired me to use items I had on hand to encourage my kiddo to explore and bla bla bla but really, you helped me keep my pants up and I'm totes thankful for that.

Essie Test - Day Nearly Nine - *Day 15 of the DailyBean*

It's been eight and a half full days since I painted the two coats of Essie's "Who's The Boss" on my nails and we put them to the test (see first blog post here).  These polished puppies have been through 5 showers (including shampooing, conditioning and exfoliation), 6 loads of dishes (yes, I do dishes now. I ain't happy about it though), daily toddler havoc and even built three pieces of Ikea furniture!  Let's take a peek at the damage done. 

 I'm left handed and that hand is really the work horse out of the two so I thought it'd be fair to stick with pictures of lefty.  

From a slight distance it's not that bad!  In fact the one that went to market and the one that stayed home are really the only two showing damage.  The one that had roast beef and the one that had none look pretty great!  (I know those are piggie references, work with me).

Let's take a closer look

Thumpkin looks a bit haggard and the wear on the other two is pretty evident.

Still, after more than a week of hardcore livin' I really think the polish has held up nicely.  If I just gesture a lot and keep my hands moving, nobody's the wiser!  ;)  

 In fact, I'm going to keep the experiment running and see how long I can leave them before I deem them too gnarly for public.

How long do you think I'll get?  Any guesses?  Would you wear nails that had this much, ummm, shabby chic to them?

Lost in translation - *Day 14*

This morning I looked out the window while holding Scarlet in my arms and said "Wow it's really foggy today."  It's been an hour since I said that and Scarlet remains perched at the window, determined to see the 'froggies'.

"Nu-nu  you see him?  Whey fwoggie go?  See you soon fwoggie.  Whey is he fwoggie? hop hop, wibbit.  I see him pwease?  Fwooogggiiee, whey ahwe youuuuuuu?"

Nu-nu is Lulu, my moms dog.  She's also on high alert for the fwoggies.  I was trying to think of an outing we could take today, 'spose we'll go to the pet store and play I-Spy Fwoggies there.  :)

Haaaaaaaave ya seen this? - *Day 12*

 Every once in a while the internet goof mafia creates ridiculous magic

 in a random corner of the internet. 

The Hutzler 571 banana slicer is a real product, offered on Amazon.com.  It is what it sounds like. A slicer. ..that slices bananas.   Wonder what the appeal is?  Welp, take a read at what some of the over TWO THOUSAND reviews have to say.

"Wait, this is a BANANA SLICER?? Oh man, I thought it was a modernistic ladder for a parakeet. My "Timmy" loves the way it curves so he can get to that right perch without doing that big awkward hop."

"No more throwing bananas at the ceiling fan for me! This product has saved me the work of peeling the banana slices off the wall after the fan slices them. Thanks, banana slicer!"

"For decades I have been trying to come up with an ideal way to slice a banana. "Use a knife!" they say. Well...my parole officer won't allow me to be around knives. "Shoot it with a gun!" Background check...HELLO! I had to resort to carefully attempt to slice those bananas with my bare hands. 99.9% of the time, I would get so frustrated that I just ended up squishing the fruit in my hands and throwing it against the wall in anger. Then, after a fit of banana-induced rage, my parole officer introduced me to this kitchen marvel and my life was changed. No longer consumed by seething anger and animosity towards thick-skinned yellow fruit, I was able to concentrate on my love of theatre and am writing a musical play about two lovers from rival gangs that just try to make it in the world. I think I'll call it South Side Story.

Banana slicer...thanks to you, I see greatness on the horizon."

"Once I figured out I had to peel the banana before using - it works much better.

Ordering one for my nephew who's in the airforce in California. He's been using an old slinky to slice his banana's. He should really enjoy this product!"

There are gobs and gobs of reviews talking about what to do if your banana curves the wrong way.  An obviously difficult problem that is addressed in length by the reviewers.  Some suggest hacking your Hutzler 571 and include extremely detailed instructions, others suggest buying the Hutzler 571B or 572C to have multiple slicing options on hand.  Some contacted the banana slicing tech support and are waiting it out to see if the glitches will be addressed in the newer technology.  If you feel like mindless goonery, go have a read. ;)

The customer pictures are just as goofy:

"Minds blown..."

And of course where you least expect him (and when he's needed the most) the Doctor shows up.

"When you're a Time Lord you simply don't have the time to sit around slicing bananas. Even with the power of time travel slicing bananas is just impossible without this slicer."

Then again, dig deep enough and you'll see that Honey Boo Boo got in on the ba-na-nay slicen' action too.  I'll let you head to the site and find that one for yourselves.  :)

This one gave me an actual lol.

"Help!"

There is soooo much more to read.  

A lot of people spent a lot of time on the straight up silly.  Remember when "redonkulous" made it's way into pop culture for a minute?  I think I'm bringing it back for this.  Internet, you're redonkulous.  

Flashback Post - *Day 11*

This is from my old blog!  
It was published December 4th, 2010 when I was still pregnant and we had just decided on Scarlet's name.

*************************************************************************************

Pippilotta Delicatessa Windowshade Mackrelmint Ephraim's Daughter Longstocking

Did you know that the above is Pippi Longstocking's full name?  I started calling the babyinmybelly Pippi because that's my favorite storybook character. It morphed into pippa and then that stuck even when we had a real name picked.  Now the whole family calls her that and Ry and I have a way of referencing her without slipping on our chosen name.

How we chose our little girls name.

This is a subject Ryan has sworn me to secrecy on.  No kidding, he's very serious about the subject.  Mum's the friggin frackin' word.    He's very nervous that someone will say something negative and the second they do I'll immediately agree with them and not want the name anymore.  I think he's right too.   However, he doesn't usually read my blog until a week or so after it's been up, so now's my chance to talk a leeeeetle bit about it.

"Have you chosen a name yet?"  is a daily question.  I try to explain that we're keeping it a secret but that seems to make the conversation awkward for the person who asked, like they touched something they shouldn't have.  So now I say "we're still discussing it" and throw out some of the pretty but nixed names on our list.  That way I didn't just shut them down.

Here's what I can say.  Her name is lovely.  I had a list of 6 or 7 girl names that I thought were pretty but all seemed to be in the top 10 this year.  We didn't want to do that.  We don't want her to be one of three or four girls with the same name in her class.   Ry brought up the name we're going with a few years ago when we were playing the "someday/what if" game.  Then when our 'what if' became a reality he was still set on it.    He loves it and since it's lasted for the past two years without his mind changing he was all about it.  I still hemmed and hawed a bit, throwing out different names here and there but in the end I felt just as sure as he did.  I love it because her daddy chose it.  He is so dedicated and invested in it that it feels like an extra special name.  The fact that he loves it so much has really made me love it all the more.  So, when we found out that she really was a SHE, her name was pretty much settled.  She's her daddy's girl. <3

I suggested a middle name and Ry went along with it immediately so that stuck too.  Daddy picked the first name and momma picked the middle.

Here's what came into play when choosing her name:

• Something that goes with our last name.  We thought about doing a traditional Italian name since that's Ryan's heritage (Sofia + Ourlastname) but weren't sold.

• A name that is not in the top 10 for the past three years.  There goes my list of Ava, Ella, Grace, etc.

• What nicknames would we call her?  That's kinda gone out the window because the nicknames that have popped up such as Pippa have nothing to do with anything.  

That's about it.  I don't think I felt like we were FOR SURE going with the name Ry chose until this past week.  Now, we use it when we're talking about her to one another and it's starting to feel more natural.

So as soon as she's born and all is revealed, you'll know alllllllll that went into it.  :)

Any guesses?  (If Ry sees this he's gonna freak out at me.  Heheh)

Double Day - *Day 10*

Another bonus.  Technically on vlog days I don't need to plop anything here other than the vlog link but as you'll see in the vlideo, Scarlet was too cute perched on the couch in her fluff. 

 I had to snap a picture.

This was close to bed time and she's got all the tell tale signs that she's a sleepy pwinthess.  She's sucking on her lower lip, grabbed her favorite blanky and her wand is no longer wildly flailing though the air.

Little darling girl.

The Essie Test - Day One - *Day 10 of the DailyBean*

Ever wondered why I love nail polish, specifically the Essie brand so much?  Because fingers are reliable.  Skin breaks out, hair frizzes and booties expand, making styling products and fashion less gratifying for a quick pick me up.  No matter how bad the hair day or how big the booty, if I do my nails I feel at least four points better than I did before.  Little effort, big reward and low risk of disappointing results.  Plus, unlike make up or that perfect outfit, manicures stick around for a few days.  Low maintenance primping. I'm allaboutsit.  

Because happy nails = a happy Marie, I have quite a collection of polishes.  I love OPI, China Glaze and gel nail products as much as the next girl but when you stack the price, color choice and a few other variables in there, Essie still reigns supreme for me.

Here's are my reasons (some you may not expect):

1. It's got the right amount of elasticity to it, so it doesn't chip and doesn't apply too thick.
2. It has a nice matte shine
3. Great color choices with even better color names (that's a biggie).
4. Square bottles!  They're easy to organize and don't take up as much space as the traditional bottles
5. Small bottle size.  I know it seems like you'd want more product for spending $8 on a polish but those bigger bottles gum up or dry out because as the product is used, the air space becomes a problem.  I've never been able to finish a bottle of nail polish before the formula goes bad so why do I care if there are less oz anyway?  Essie's bottles don't allow as much air space and the product lasts longer.
6. Color is usually the same in the bottle as it is on your fingertips.  Unfortunately I don't adore the translucent colors as much as I do the opaques.  They take a bit more patience in between layers and too many coats then I'm willing to give.  
7. A lot of their colors can stand alone with one coat!  One and done!  

On to the test!
Normally doing my own nails is a mental break for me so I go all out with cuticle treatments, top coats, etc.  but this time, we're testing Essie on it's own.  I've painted my nails with two coats of my current favorite color "Who's The Boss" (used to be my favorite show too, that saucy Mona).  No base or top coats for shine, nothing else but Essie alone. 

Here's how they look now.

*Note to self, get dang date stamp off camera!

Let's see how they hold up against a 2 year old, daily dishes and full contact street fighting.  Ya know, my typical day.

I'll update again on Monday and we'll see how they held through!  (UPDATE HERE)

What's you're favorite polish brand and color?

*Bonus Pic*

Tiny toddler toes! 

*Weekend Bonus!* Look, we're not "those people" this time!

We got our Christmas decorations down before we were half way through January.
I think that's high five worthy.  Up top!  Anyone?

See you on Monday!

Freshly Bathed Beauty - *Day 9*

The Day it All Went Fuzzy - *Day 8*

Want to lose our minds together? Join me wont you?

She's going to go crazy when she sees this! - *Day 7*

Sneaky peek into Scarlet's 2nd birthday goodies:

Oh and this too!

Any other theme would have been more for me than her, so I'm embracing it!  You can bet'cher patookies you'll see more as plans take shape.  Happy Wednesday!

Disturbing, isn't it? Digestive Debauchery - *Day 6*

Today, around noon I realized that Scarlet and I were going to have the house to ourselves until about 7pm.  It's so so so rare that I'm ever in this house by myself.  I stopped in my tracks and a Grinch like smile slowly spread across my face as I tried to think of all the wild ways we could spend our unsupervised afternoon.   What kinds of trouble could the Beeble and I get into that would be left unappreciated by Daddy and Nana?  Oh, Oh!  I know!  Loud Disney sing alongs and old man food!  Weeeeeeee! I was giddy at the thought.  Yep, when left to my own devices, my idea of a thrill is to eat like an old kermudgen.  A bit wild eyed, I scooped Scarlet up and danced my way to the kitchen.  On the old man menu?  An entire head of green cabbage sauteed with garlic and smoked sausage.  I call it "Ohmigerd".

Makes ya feel a uncomfortable just looking at it right?  Oh yea, I live on the edge.   Heeh!  I was so pleased with myself.  I feel like this is the kind of food Statler and Waldorf would eat.  Ryan would hate this meal. The thrill was high.  As it steamed and bubbled on the stove and the entire house began to smell like cabbage (bonus sexy points), I blasted this video through the whole house and and sang along.  Let me tell you, not a tune was carried, except maybe wolf crying at the moon part, feel like I nailed that.
Whaddaya expect though?  I'm not going to twitter like a delicate princess when I'm eating like a long haul trucker.  If you haven't seen this video - it's a must watch!  The girl in it was only 15 at the time and made it entirely by herself.

I capped my meal with an oversized wine glass full of unsweetened cranberry juice (perfect right?) and filled my belly.   There was a brief moment where I tried to figure out how I could roast my entire brussel sprout stock and then nom on it like Fred Flintstone but decided to save something for my next wild night of digestive debauchery.  

Yesssss, blood red cranberry juice, butcher knife post it's leafy green kill and a disturbing sausage.  While this meal would have put my husband off, I think I did Statler, Waldorf and Hitchcock proud.  ;)