Capturing Ryan's Fractured Story

(Warning - This post contains curse words)

Lemmie set the scene.  The other day while Ryan and I were running errands, for some reason Ryan referenced Disney's The Little Mermaid. 

Me:  You don't even know that story. 

Ry:  Sure I do.  Whaddaya give me if I can tell you the entire story from start to finish right now?

Me: A cookie. (I knew something blog worthy was about to happen so I wrote everything he said down on the back of an envelope we had in the car).

Ry: Sold!  There's this foxy mermaid who wants to be a lady of the land, not just another fish in the sea.  Her dad,  Neptune or Benjamin or something, he's all "noooooooooooo!"  And the chick she's all  "I'm over these conch shells and turtles everywhere."  So she goes to see this Octopus, umm what's her name.... whatever, let's go with Octobitch.  See, the mermaid was slated to be the next queen of the sea but alas, since she was such a land lubber she sold her soul to the Octobitch who was taken down by Benjamin.  Eventually Prince Balthesar saves the day somehow. Que 'A Whole New World'.  

THE END - gimmie my cookie.

Fret not! With my mom, me and the Beeble in his world, Ryan has very quickly become outnumbered in this house.  Scarlet being the tiniest among us is also the most powerful when it comes to encouraging her daddy to broaden his girly horizons.  There's no way a man living with three women will be able to keep his ignorance to all things sugar and spice.  It's inevitable that he will soon be reciting the movie line for line sans the cuss words.  I say we check in one year from now and I bet we'll see him practicing his best Ariel "Ahhh-aaahhh-aahhhhh" vocal range.

Not cool Nana, not cool

My mom's conversation with Scarlet about her Sesame Street
coloring book and stickers:

"Who's that Scarlet?  Annie Spaghetti? (Abbey Cadabby)
Oh, and is that her friend Kuhlumpadumpalus?" (Snuffleupagus)

Nice Try Nana, but I don't think you're earning your street cred with the 3 and under crowd.

Run Awaaaay!

Let's pretend you're me for a second, ok?  I'll set the scene:

You want to send out a semi-important email so you set yourself up and crack open your laptop.  You take a breath, gather your thoughts and juuuust as you begin to clickity clack on the keyboard the three ring circus begins.  

The baby purposefully squishes her entire puree pouch out onto the freshly changed bed sheets.  At that same time, your husband appears from around the corner and starts to give you a history lesson on the French Revolution.  Whhhaaa? Is he new? Has he met me?  Why would he think I care about this right now?  Whatever, you just go with it and pretend to listen while you separate the baby from the sweet potato goo oozing on the bed, which launches her into a long winded squeel/whine.  Is Ryan still talking?  Yes.  Does squealy whiny baby deter him from the lesson?  Nah, he's good.  Just as he wraps up what he's talking about and you've pacified the squealing beeble with a new snack, you hear your name called from your mother's room.  "Maaaaarrriiiiieeeeeeeeeeee".  Good Grief.  

You just need five uninterrupted minutes.
What's the solution?

Email sent and I snuck a little pinterest retreat in there too.
 Thanks to parenthood, I've got a new perspective on the term 'restroom'.

Now I'm off to change the sheets, again.

Anyone else find themselves hiding behind the water heater or in the coat closet
 just to have an undemanded moment?